Some days are just harder than others.
Not because anything dramatic happens, but because you’re tired of explaining, adjusting, advocating, or holding it all together. For families living with low vision or blindness, these moments are part of everyday life, and this is exactly where self-compassion can heroically save the day. Self-love is about appreciation and caring for yourself. Self-compassion is about what we do when things hurt.
And when it comes to forgotten intentions, guilt, or the challenges of daily life, self-compassion may be exactly what we need.
How can practicing self-compassion help with guilt, shame, or self-criticism?
Compassion means seeing the suffering of others and wanting to take action to alleviate that suffering.
Self-compassion means exactly the same thing, but turning that instinct inward. It involves treating yourself with the same kindness, care, and understanding you would offer a good friend, especially during times of struggle, failure, or disappointment.
Many of us believe that being hard on ourselves — criticising, berating, or shaming ourselves — will motivate us to do better. But research consistently shows that this approach doesn’t work. In fact, the more negative our inner monologue becomes, the worse we feel. And the worse we feel, the less likely we are to start or maintain healthy habits, connect with others, or feel open to change.
Self-compassion, on the other hand, creates safety, and safety is what allows growth to happen.
Why is self-compassion especially important for families living with low vision or blindness?
While we could all benefit from practicing more self-compassion, it becomes especially important for families navigating the additional challenges that come with low vision or blindness.
For parents, this might show up as guilt, uncertainty, or fear about the future.
For children, it may appear as painful comparisons with others, feelings that their body is “failing them,” or experiences of exclusion or bullying, often internalised as something being wrong with them.
As a child growing up with albinism and low vision, school was tough. I know how easy it is to absorb the hurtful things people say about how you look or what you can’t do, until those words begin to sound like your own inner voice.
For a long time, I didn’t realise that letting those voices in was a choice and discovering that it was a choice changed everything. Learning to practice self-compassion, recognising that an experience is genuinely hard and that it’s not your fault, can be a powerful step toward a healthier, more balanced mental state.
Three simple ways to start practicing self-compassion as a family
You don’t need to be an expert in mindfulness to begin. These practices are simple, practical, and accessible, even if you’ve never consciously tried self-compassion before.
1. The words we use
Our inner dialogue is one of the most powerful places to start. As parents, we can model self-compassion simply by speaking our thoughts out loud when we make a mistake.
So when you spill the milk, instead of saying,
“What an idiot I am,”
you might say,
“Oops, that was an accident. Accidents happen.”
And then move on.
Normalising mistakes helps both us and our children avoid spiralling into negative self-talk and reminds us that being human includes being imperfect.
If you hear your child using harsh words toward themselves, you might gently ask,
“Would you talk to your best friend that way?”
And just as importantly, notice and celebrate moments when they are kind to themselves. Those moments really matter.
2. Remembering our shared human experience
As the REM song goes:
“Well, everybody hurts sometimes
Everybody cries
Everybody hurts, sometimes”
While we may wish this weren’t true, there is comfort in knowing that struggle, failure, and imperfection are part of being human, not signs that we’re doing something wrong.
This perspective helps reduce the sense of isolation that often comes with difficult moments.
Practicing humility as a character strength can also support self-compassion. Humility allows us to say:
“I’m human.”
“I don’t have to be perfect.”
“Struggle doesn’t mean failure.”
“We all struggle.”
Truly humble people think well of themselves and have a realistic sense of who they are. They recognise both their strengths and their limitations, holding a balanced and compassionate view of themselves.
3. Using Soothing Touch when Times are Tough
Simple physical gestures can help calm the nervous system and communicate safety to the body. Placing both hands over your heart, gently caressing your own hand, or giving yourself a hug are all effective ways of acknowledging a difficult moment and responding with kindness.
These practices can be done anywhere, at any time, and no one needs to know you’re doing them if you’d rather keep it private. They are simple, instinctive, and powerful reminders that comfort is available, even from ourselves.
Even very young children respond well to self-soothing gestures. In fact, they do them on their own. It´s only when we get a bit older that we forget that we can self-sooth.
Self-Compassion Saves the Day Every Time
So the next time you or your child gets caught in guilt, self-criticism, or that familiar “I should be doing better” loop, pause for a moment. Take a breath. Place a hand on your heart if it helps and remind yourself:
This is hard, and I’m allowed to be human.
Self-compassion doesn’t mean giving up on growth or lowering standards. It means choosing encouragement over punishment. It means moving forward without dragging shame behind us like an overpacked suitcase.
Life is hard enough already. There is no need to make it harder by being our own worst critic.
Instead, be your own best friend, and help your child learn to be theirs, too.