Almost anyone can recognize flirting and guess that a couple is dating simply by watching their behavior. Sighted children have many opportunities to observe how older teenagers and grownups flirt; they see people holding hands, smiling at each other, kissing, and hugging—at the mall, waiting in line for a movie, or walking through the park. That’s a key way they learn how people behave when they have romantic feelings for each other. Children with blindness or low vision may not be able to see those behaviors clearly, so it’s harder for them to understand flirting and dating.
As your child reaches early adolescence, begin to share what you see. If the two of you are in a check-out line and the couple ahead of you are holding hands and gazing at each other, describe their behavior once the two of you have privacy. Watch television together and describe and discuss what’s going on between the couples on screen. It’s information your preteen or teenager needs to have! You’re probably the best person to provide the information, but if doing that makes you uncomfortable, be sure someone—an older brother or sister or a more mature friend—fills in for you.
There are various ways you can help your child learn about flirting and recognize when someone is flirting with them
For youngsters in their early teens, dates are often group activities with several young people going together to the movies or the mall. Some teens may pair off, but more often than not, there are friends nearby. Toward the end of high school, some teens start pairing off as couples with romantic feelings for one another.
In general, teens who are comfortable with themselves and their eye condition will find that their friends and dates will also be comfortable. Teens who laugh about their eye condition and make others feel at ease are more likely to succeed in dating relationships. Helping your teenager build self-esteem and deal with feelings about being visually impaired can also help develop self-acceptance and a more relaxed attitude.
Most parents have mixed feelings about their children’s social lives. On the one hand, they want their children to be independent, popular, and happy. On the other hand, they worry about letting them go out into a sometimes unsafe world. If you’re concerned and think your teenager is particularly vulnerable because of blindness or low vision, try to find ways of letting go while doing your best to ensure safety. For example:
Dating involves a number of social issues in addition to safety. For example, teens need information about how to dress for dates. Let your teen know what kinds of clothes and hairstyles other teens are wearing. Encourage your teen to ask a trusted friend for advice on how to dress for the date.
Especially for boys, not being able to drive can add an extra challenge to dating. You might suggest letting you or another adult or an older sibling drive your child and a date to where they plan to spend the evening or encourage your child to double date with another couple. Suggesting that the two of them walk, use public transportation, or hire a taxi are other alternatives.